We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
