I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
