Having a random hookup so left but love u
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
it's like iHOP with fire
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
