We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
