meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
