I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
