The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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