Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
