Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize