I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize