either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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