my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
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