is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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