so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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