Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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