I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
