Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
