he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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