Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
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