I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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