This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
She tied me up with her honor cords...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
