but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
