It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
