and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
