Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize