haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
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He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
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My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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