"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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