I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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