i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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