You're my little dorito
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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