i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
They should really pass out barf bags in church
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
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when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
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I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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