Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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