No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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