i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
