Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
