I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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