He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
