I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
