He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
