ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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