hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Is it because I queefed?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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