Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
