brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize