I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
