I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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