i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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