YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
