Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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