He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
