how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
