We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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