so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
