I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
