I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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