im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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