i think i have herpe
just one?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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