Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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